Pastor Lowell Nelson teaches a topical study about God's Design for Marriage Part 7: When It's Still Not Working: Patience, Prayer, and Perseverance in Marriage on 10/8/2006 for our Sunday service.
This concluding part addresses the challenging question of what to do when, despite applying biblical principles, a marriage "is still not working" and a spouse is unwilling to change. It reiterates the series' foundational truths: marriage is a lifelong process requiring constant effort, submission of wills to Scripture, and individual hearts open to God's "surgical scalpel". The session reminds listeners that application, not just hearing, is key to building a stable marriage. Three main reasons for a spouse's unwillingness to change are explored:
1. Laziness: Some individuals are simply content with the status quo and unwilling to put in the time, effort, and discipline required for change, expecting others to do the work.
2. Being Lost: Some spouses may be unbelievers, or if they know the Lord, have hardened, proud, or rebellious hearts unwilling to surrender to God's will, finding satisfaction in temporal pleasures over eternal ones.
3. Living Proof/Unsettled Issues: The believing spouse's own actions might be a hindrance if they misrepresent Christ, or there may be unresolved past issues causing bitterness and anger. While waiting for a spouse to change, the believing individual is called to patience, prayer, and continued obedience in their own walk with God. This includes controlling one's tongue, speaking with confidence, peace, and hope, and becoming a "prayer warrior" who trusts in God's power and timing. The ultimate goal is to glorify God and love Him with all one's heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to respond to His finished work, not to the spouse's behavior, knowing that even if the spouse doesn't change, the individual can still experience peace and joy, earning the "well done, good and faithful servant" from God.
